Craziness, Happiness, Sadness

June 13, 2012

Today is exactly one month until I leave my village.

On Monday, riots broke out in HoHoe (my market town, about 40 minutes away) between the Muslim and Ewe people.  Many things have contributed to this, which I will not write about here.  Businesses were burned down and several people killed.  The military arrived on Monday and instilled a 6pm to 6am curfew; it is reported that things have calmed down, although the military is still there.  I have contacted my friends in HoHoe and they are all accounted for and safe.  Peace Corps has forbade any of us to travel to or through HoHoe.  I have been contacted each day by our safety and security coordinator asking about the situation in and around my village.  There have been no issues in my village; we are all aware and upset about what is happening in HoHoe, but there have been no issues here or in other villages that PCV’s are in.  We are remaining in our villages until we get the all clear from PC.  I feel perfectly safe in my village and with PC’s communication with me.

Now on to other things J  One month left, holy moly!  I have done the accounts for the Batik and Women’s groups.  Yesterday we disbursed money to Batik group and they were all surprised at how much they got.  “That’s what happens with you keep good books and don’t let people steal…you have a lot more money to share.  Now aren’t you glad I always yelled at you about money and receipts?!?”  Francis asked them all what they learned from our experience together:  “I have learned how to keep books and why it is important.” “I have learned to have a good business you must be on time.”  “I have learned you have work honestly with each other.” “I have learned that sometimes you have to show you are mad so people see that you are serious.”  That last one came up twice and I don’t know if that’s good or not…it’s true, I have gotten so furious at the group (for stealing!!!) that I’ve yelled at them and left for the day….that’s happened twice.  In a way I think it is a good thing for them to learn; they usually just don’t say anything when people steal, but that doesn’t get things changed.  But then again, I don’t want them to remember me just because I would get red and scream about honesty…I dunno.

I also balanced my Women’s accounts and will disburse money tomorrow.  Between the two groups they will have earned over 2,000 cedis since we have started…that’s a lot of money here.  I am so proud of them.  And we didn’t use NGO or foreign money to start the projects; they did it all on their own.  I often sit and think about what good I’ve really done here; God knows I get so aggravated about things not working out that I get red in the face.  But if nothing else, this village can see 2 successful groups that did it ALL ON THEIR OWN!!!  That’s so important here where people are used to saying “Give me” to NGO’s and foreign aid.  If you are just given money for your business, you don’t give a shit if it really works out or not.  You’re not losing your money; you don’t fight and make a big deal when money is chopped…if it fails, someone else will give you money, you poor thing, you live in Africa…yes, this is honestly how I feel about development here.  But with these groups, they did it on their own; even if the whole village doesn’t see the importance of it, I know some of them do, and that’s enough.  Peter has started keeping accounts at his tailor shop and has saved money and had a sign made; he told me he learned the importance of keeping book and advertising from me; he wants his business to be serious and successful.  He will keep batiking and selling it and will try to make purses and have them sold in HoHoe…I’m a proud mama.

I spent the morning writing my going away speech for the village.  I’m gonna have Francis translate it into Sekua so I can practice and deliver it all in the local language at my closing ceremony (set for July 11^th as of now).  I started writing, thanking them for all we’ve shared, talking about the things I’ve learned, and praising my 2 groups for achieving things for themselves, and stated that development is not buildings (because people have started asking what I will build before I leave) but instead it is people.  I wrote it all down and then reread it…and then cried.  As much as I sometimes hate so many things about this place, I freaking love so many, too.  Oh, I am so not looking forward to these goodbyes; just like when I left the U.S. 2 years ago, I felt slightly sick for a month because of all the goodbyes I had to say and all the emotions made me a wreck.

Time is flying by; both happy and sad.  I still have no idea what to do when I get back to the U.S.  I have hopped around from going to grad school for Public Administration, to just finding a job…but where?  The only thing for sure is that I’ll be squatting at mom and dad’s for a while.  I think I’m just gonna take my time and feel things…see what feels right after I spend some time back in the States, in Jeff City.  We’ll see.

That’s all for now.  See you in one month!!!

j